I got a question, I come from a conservative religious family and my aunt thinks I'm going to hell unless I repent. She's also convinced that I obviously have some mental problems because I'm lesbian and that is why the family is so accepting of me (not the gay community - but just me... and maybe my partner). My family has come to respect my partner of 8 years. They actually love her. I thought everything was fine, I sucked up my pride for the past years to avoid confrontation, you know, about the whole 'mental issue' so that I can just live my life happily with my partner. I was hoping that thru time, they will just get over the 'hell' issue. Just the other day I was talking to the family about plans of marriage. To my surprise my aunt started giving me a 'respectful and loving' lecture about making changes to my life in the near future or else God will condem me. She says "God is a loving God, but as you continue on this path you cannot expect him to forgive you and it is my duty to teach you or else God will punish me." How do you think I should address this in the time being? I plan on marrying my partner in the future, and it will hurt me most to know that my family does not support me when the time comes. I don't want them at my wedding whispering between themselves or worse actually embarrassed to be there for me.

Religion is one of the hardest hurdles to overcome for some families dealing with issues of homosexuality. Deeply set beliefs that you or your loved ones may be punished by God make for very intense and long arguments. Choose your battles! It is - almost always - useless to try to convince someone like your aunt that there is nothing wrong with you or your lifestyle. But you can do some damage control by firmly letting her know that you have heard her opinion on the subject and will no longer pay attention to her lectures, regardless of her good intentions. Be consistent with your responses to negative comments about you, your partner or your life in general. Whenever it comes up don't hesitate to quickly nip it in the bud with a polite "we have different views on this and i don't care to discuss them any further. We can change the subject or i can leave." It may seem harsh at first but they will eventually get the message that you won't sit around listening to their ideas of how you should live your life. And you will eventually get used to the idea that you don't need their approval to be a happy adult.
As for the wedding, think hard about what you truly want it to be like. When making your guest list make it a point to invite only the people who have been honestly supportive of your relationship and who will be truly happy for you and your partner. You don't need a room filled with people, you need a room filled with love, which can be accomplished with surprisingly few people.
Good luck!

Thanks for the advice, my aunt is really a sweet lady - she's just you know... really conservative Japanese and LOVES God. As I got older in life I did notice that my need for their approval lessoned. The wedding idea, what if both sides of our family is really conservative Japanese? A wedding doesn't seem right if your family isn't there.